It's 6am and i'm all messed up

I really need to be writing an extremely long final paper for my sociology class, but I just can't concentrate. I keep listening to Brandi and it just isn't helping today. I got this song from my friend yesterday that's called Malt Liquor. I keep putting it on repeat. The melody is just so sad and the message is just....

I'll give you a nickel for your quarter
Malt liquor for your water
I'll leave you drunk up on the rooftop
Whoa, I'm dancing with the moon
This song is for our salvation
And if you sit here long enough
On this root under this tree
I swear, I will sneak up right beside you
Unlock your heart and set you free

This song to me fits my mood. It's lonely, its aching, it's kind of like a heart breaking in slow motion. Who will sneak up up beside you and set you free? Maybe its not supposed to be deep,or ambiguous, but to me there is a sense of ambiguity here. But it seems like this person (the singer, the subject, etc.) is striving for someone or something that they can't have, or can't help.

There's a quote by Rainer Maria Rilke that I really like. It goes "Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, she would never have been able to find these words" That pretty much sums up how I've been feeling lately. But then I feel guilty that I couldn't do more. I wish I could heal the hurt, calm the storm and wipe away the tears but sometimes I just can't. But I also can't help but keep thinking that it is selfish of me not to try.

It snowed today!

It snowed today :) I love the snow. I'm a Minnesota girl through and through and the snow just makes me smile. Yesterday was my birthday (21!) so waking up today to a light dusting was fantastic. I love the way the air feels when it is snowing and the way everything seems to go in slow motion.

One of my favorite things to do is to walk outside when its snowing in the dark and just watch how everything slows down. Did I mention that winter is my favorite time of year? Well it is. I started out my winter right, I got my first tattoo :) I can't really believe I went through with it! I have been wanting one for a really long time and I finally got one. I got it on my wrist and it is a lyric from my favorite song. It looks great. A couple of my friends came with me and I'm afraid I might have crushed my one friends hand I was holding it so tight! But it came out amazingly.

Tomorrow I'm going to the airport. I don't know where I'm going because its a surprise. I'll write more when I get back (which I don't even know when that is). I'm working on my perfect winter playlist because tis the season to listen to great music. Well it's always the season but this time of year especially.

-kb